2003-08-26

cast page

Clammy's Official Cast List:

This page is completely out of date. I'll work on updating it very soon.

Jen – Arguably my best friend. We met in college and later lived together in a group house. She started dating a psychopath that didn’t like me and we didn't really talk the whole time I was in London, Boston and even when I joined the Peace Corps and went to Africa. When I moved back here about four years ago, she called me out of the blue. We been hanging out ever since. Well, actually, we were estranged for about eight months two years ago because she got really drunk in a restaurant and yelled at one of my other friends at the top of her lungs. She was jealous of my friendship with her. We have been hanging out again for about a year and a half. She doesn’t really have any other friends and it gets a little irritating sometimes. She also drinks way too much.

Terri – I am arguably her best friend. Certainly her best female friend. She’s about eight years older than I am. She’s cool, but she’s got a lot of issues. We hang out a lot for about six months at a time, then don’t see each other for a while. We met when we worked together about four years ago. I had just moved back here and didn’t have very many friends yet. She kind of took me under her wing and took me out with her. Now the tables have kind of turned and I take her out with me. It’s strange.

Former Co-worker/Kim – We worked together at my last job, which was a crazy arts organization. She’s really cool, but I couldn’t stand working with her. She is Buddhist, and sometimes has very spiritual things to say. She’s also just a lot of fun in a light, breezy kind of way.

Phil – Sweet Phil. We met when I lived in London. We lived in the same rat hole and became fast friends. We could read each other’s minds. I always knew he was attracted to me, but I never felt the same way. That is until one night when I was attacked by a midget who forced his way into the house. Phil ran down the stairs in his boxers and literally picked the midget up by his shirt and threw him out the door. After that, I was all his. Until he decided he loved me. Then I freaked out. He tried to come visit me when I lived in Boston. The day he was supposed to arrive, I emailed him and told him I had changed my mind. Emailed. Didn’t even call him, didn’t even go to the airport to tell him. Just left him there. Thankfully, we’ve moved past this. We have been emailing again for about six months now. He is teaching and working on his dissertation at a university a thousand miles from here.

Jim #1 – We met through Terri and unofficially dated. I don’t know what to record as his profession. He’s a part time lawyer, part time failing musician. He was once really cool and totally had his shit together. He was defending a guy accused of capital murder, had a standing gig every week at a great live music venue, knew everyone in town. Now he’s just kind of a loser who lives in a recording studio his grandfather owns because he can’t afford to pay rent. He seriously sleeps on a cot. Seriously.

Jim #2 – He’s Jim #1’s best friend and a good friend of Terri’s. He’s certifiably crazy, seeing a psychiatrist and everything. He’s also amazingly entertaining when he wants to be. Jen hooked up with him once or twice. He has a great story about this girl he once dated. We all called her “Trinket” because she was so tiny you could put her in your pocket. Anyway, we were all at his house late one night and Trinket was there being drunk and boring. He wanted her to go to sleep so we could all hang out, so he turned up the heat thinking that she would pass out. It worked. Sometimes he’s a cruel genius.

Beefy –Graduated from Bennington and works at a dead end job now so he can pursue his playwriting dreams. Technically I’m the President of the Board of his production organization, but that just means I run errands for him and he bounces ideas off me. I also get to be in his plays even though I’m a pretty lousy actress.

Joe – I had it bad for this guy. We dated off and on for maybe a year and a half. He lives above the Club that I used to go to all the time. He’s part of a really “cool” crowd that grew up here and are from very wealthy families. They all stick together. I was once part of that crowd. It all turned very junior high-ish when I had a falling out with this one chick, and then Joe and I stopped seeing each other, so almost overnight I was persona non grata at the Club and at the “cool crowd” gatherings. Things have basically died down since then and I can go back to the Club without fear of public humiliation. Since Joe and I stopped dating, he has turned into a major player. Well, he was always a major player, I just chose to ignore it.

Paul/Jesus - Interesting dynamic. We have been in a couple of plays together. He is always Jesus in the Christmas show. We flirt with each other incessantly, but neither one of us really wants to ruin the friend dynamic. He's a really smart guy and I like him a lot. We decided that we need to smoke crack together at some point, so now it's a running joke. When we get drunk and it's late at night, we talk about how we're going to smoke crack together and have sex. I feel fairly confident that we will have sex at some point, but probably not anytime very soon.

ED - He's the Executive Director of a non-profit here in town. He's delicious! I don't know him very well, but I am very into him. He's smart, funny and loves him some Willie Nelson.