30 May 2008

Denver

I don't know what happened in Denver. Rob and James wanted to go camping. I didn't. Since they drove, I crashed at Ian's and while he was at work I hit the bar down the street. It's within walking distance, Ian was coming home for lunch, what could happen?

The people you meet at a bar at 11 am are interesting in a totally different way than what I am accustomed to. And I promise I’m not trying to say that in a classist way. The couple I ended up hanging out with were funny at first. Mid 40s, not married but living together. She was a waitress and it was her day off. He worked construction sometimes. We drank like fish and then got high in his car. The woman wanted to go to a nicer bar and to do that we needed to change clothes. I couldn’t go back to Ian’s because he was there waiting for me (why didn’t I invite him along?? I’ll never know what was going through my altered brain) So anyway, we ended up going to the mall. I knew it was a bad idea, but went anyway. And yes, it was me that insisted we stop at the Chili’s and knock back a drink so that I wouldn’t have to face that mess sober. In the end I couldn’t take it and insisted we leave. I’ve never been much for malls.

There was one funny thing about the mall. The woman made me try on a skin tight dress from a store that sells clothes to girls about 20 years younger than I am. The man wanted to buy it for me. No thanks, pal.

We hit another bar. Then another. And another. I don’t know how much I had to drink or how much I had smoked at this point. Fuck, I don’t even know exactly what I was smoking. I know I wasn’t seeing straight. So I have no idea how we ended up in the tattoo shop except of course, where else were we going to end up? I didn’t get anything, thank god. The woman wanted to get Marvin the Martian on her calf. I begged and pleaded with her not to do it. I tried every logical argument I could think of. She wasn’t thinking clearly. Her blood would be too thin. Why would she want green on her leg? But she insisted. Oh, how I shudder to think about it.

It was at that point that I decided to make my way back to Ian’s. He had been calling and calling, but I turned the phone off. I decided I needed him desperately right then and there. The only problem is that I had no idea what part of town I was in or even what the fuck his address was. And he wasn’t answering his phone. The man drove us back to his house because the woman wanted to take a shower, I think. It was something strange like that.

I was fairly ill by now and was trying my best not to pass out. I went inside and the man thought I just needed to lie down. Just lie down on his bed. Everything would be fine if I would just lie down. And you know, the funny thing is that I’ve always managed to put myself in shady situations and it seems like no matter how old I am, I just don’t stop. I actually did lie down on his bed.

Thankfully the alarm bells rang loud and clear before I fully passed out and I bolted out of there, phone turned on and in hand. I had Ian’s address in my GPS. Why hadn’t I thought of that before I let them take me home? I walked two blocks away and then sat on the curb and let the GPS tell me where I was and called a cab. Turns out Ian’s house was 3 miles away. When I finally made it over there I walked in and James and Rob had just gotten back from their camping trip and were ready to go to dinner before starting the long drive home.

I can’t even write about the drive there and back without getting emotional. The drive there was so perfect. Absolutely perfect. Rob was driving and I was in the front with him and we saw a rainbow as the sub rose one morning. Absolutely everything was right with the world. The drive back was hell. For some reason I was deemed sober enough to drive at one point and made a wrong turn and ended up in Albuquerque. James kept stopping in the middle of the highway because he was seeing red lights. He is now hospitalized. He wasn’t injured, he just went off his meds. I had no idea.

I know I won’t see James or Rob again for a long time. Hanging out with them on that unexpected trip was such a welcome relief. I felt normal again. This job is making me crazy and I needed to be around people who make me feel like a decent human being – people who care about me and what happens to me. I’ve known James and Rob for something like 15 years now. Wait, a little longer than that actually. It’s funny that I hadn’t seen them in so long and then just when I need them most, they called me with this road trip idea.

I’ll try to be a better friend to James when he gets out of the hospital. He’s actually staying in the place where I used to work and I think he’ll probably be in there for a few weeks.